As many of you may know, I’ve been live streaming an informal Bible study on Tuesdays at 8pm since last April. We’ve read through a handful of minor prophets, the letter of 1 John, highlights from Ecclesiastes, some elements of the Creation stories, four of the biblical heroines whom I’ve dressed up as for Halloween over the years, a six part series on the history of Christmas, a Lenten series on the seven deadly sins, and, currently, a series on the ten commandments.
This week, we’ll cover the eighth commandment: thou shalt not steal.
And so I present to you: a very partial list of some of the things that my tiny six pound cat has stolen over the course of our three and a half years together:
- limes, lime essential oil, and the fork with which I had eaten a slice of key lime pie
- paring knives
- mixing bowls
- measuring spoons
- an entire baking sheet
- a sieve
- a can of baking powder
- an empty vanilla bottle
- a can of meringue powder (this series of thefts led to the house rule that cats are not allowed to bake)
- misc pieces of junk mail
- board game pieces
- pens
- corks, bottlecaps, and milk rings
- a single packing peanut
- empty toilet paper tubes
- my house keys (!!!)
- lip balms
- bottles of nail polish
- my microphone
- lemons
- oranges
- apples
- a pineapple
- a fire extinguisher (knocked it all the way down the basement stairs!)
- magazines
- tissue boxes
- onions
- DVDs
- shoes (only ever one at a time, and almost always the left shoe)
- my hairbrush (it has been batted straight into the bathroom trash on quite a few occasions)
- candles
- a lighter
- any and all cardboard boxes that have ever come into the house
- tissue paper
- a bag of almonds
- an empty milk jug
- a jar of nutella
- more than one butternut squash
- a rack of cookies that had been cooling on the counter but was then knocked to the floor and the cookies used as hockey pucks across the kitchen
- a surprisingly large chunk of an egg casserole
- a pan of brownies (one of which landed in her water fountain)
- bread
- a small vase of dried flowers
- a small bag of sugar cookies, which she not only stole but ATE (I believe that this constitutes cannibalism, for a cat named after a cookie to eat cookies)
